Nature is not cute

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It’s time for another rant, lucky you! A few days ago I was playing the new tomb raider game. I was on a level where I was running away from a plane wreck in search of my companions, when I come upon a section of dense vegetation. The cut-scene cuts to an upward facing shot of a mangled corpse falling from a tree. A growling Jaguar looks down at you and you get to watch the look of utter terror spreading across Lara’s face as she realized that she was either going to die or have to figure out a way to kill the thing with a knife and an ice climbing ax.

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A copy of a letter I sent to every Anti-Gun MP in parliement.

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-To my representatives in the government of Canada.

This is a divisive and tumultuous time for our nation. For the first time in a blessed long while, the cruel and malevolent side of humanity is once again taking a prominent place in the spotlight of our society and the public is reacting with the natural amount of panic, beholden to the return of these predators.

Continue reading “A copy of a letter I sent to every Anti-Gun MP in parliement.”

A trailer for my book: The Biography of the Supreme Inquisitor.

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It has become popular as of late among notable Imperial officials to write down a history of their life. I’m told it is supposed to create a humanized record of historical figures for future generations. While the intention is to prevent historical figures from being deified, I am skeptical. Based on the biographies I have already looked through, the authors do everything in their power to add to their legend, which will surely result in a war of exaggeration between writers. Fact checking is needed.

Continue reading “A trailer for my book: The Biography of the Supreme Inquisitor.”

Maintaining nature

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Okay, let’s talk about one of those weird human things that confuse me to no end. Why, in the name of Zeus is climate change a partisan issue? I mean, I would think it would be self evident that both sides of the political spectrum could agree that the banners under which they throw falsehoods and character assaults should remain aloft and not spontaneously combust in the sky.

Of course, I’m in favour of space travel as much as any other red blooded human supremacist, but for the time being, we have only one planet and our continued existence as a species is reliant on it not catching fire. 

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The swallowtail caterpillar, why nature isn’t perfect.

A lot of people like to put nature on a pedestal, saying that something is good because it’s natural or bad because it’s unnatural, or that we cannot ever compare to the brilliance of nature. I dislike this, not just because I’m a human supremacist, but because it isn’t true.

The first issue I have with this argument is the saying that nature is best. Well, the concept of something being best when used by a human will be based on human criteria. So, based on human behavior throughout most of our existence, nature is awful. It has been humanity’s greatest crusade to remove as much nature from our lives as possible. To say that natural things are the best is foolish, especially when you say it on the internet. If you actually believe that, you should never see this post because you will be too busy chasing down a deer and choking it to death with your bare hands, or shivering in a cave, or dying at age twenty from a toilet paperless existence.

Continue reading “The swallowtail caterpillar, why nature isn’t perfect.”

Moths: Why aren’t they adorable?

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I’ve had a thought. The other day, when I was about to go to bed, I noticed a small grey moth darting around my bedroom. My immediate reaction was one of shock and irritation at the creature polluting my space.

It bothered me that I would soon go to bed and the thing might decide to land on me in my sleep, or buzz around my phone screen while I was watching videos. Then the creature landed on the wall and I had a confusing realization. It was cute… or at least it should have been. The moth was small, fuzzy, it had big eyes and what looked like toothbrushes growing out of it’s forehead.

Such a combination of natural features would normally make something adorable. We, as humans, like small fuzzy things. So, why, after realizing this, did I still find it off putting? It was a real mystery to me. Even less cute looking moths generally look like they’re made of folded paper or colourful feathers, which should at least be considered beautiful.

After careful consideration, here is my conclusion as to why moth’s are not cute. 1. They are crumbly. The scales on moths are delicate and can fall off or get dislodged giving them a crumbly appearance. I think this gives us the feeling that the creature is decaying which makes us feel that it is unclean. 2. They dart. Moth’s have very binary movement, meaning they are either completely motionless, or buzzing around your face.

My conclusion is that moths scare people because they represent a high probability of being startled. At any moment, the motionless creature can dive off its perch and start flying. Once in the air, their flight path is very unpredictable because they aren’t very good at flying. They will fumble and bounce off things like the light, your computer monitor, your head, etc. This makes them shocking, even if they are far less repulsive than a spider or centipede.

After all, if a rabbit could fly, would it still be cute? Yes it would, it would be a fruit bat and they are adorable. But you don’t want them hiding in your closet or doing laps around your desk light.


Remember to like and follow. Next up: why mantises are cute and why butterflies are awful.