The Iron Maiden had been swept, repairs completed, and the fuel reserves refreshed, now it was party time. I’ll admit, I dressed up a little. Just a little. I wore a black vest over a silk shirt along with my usual heavy combat pants, and freshly shined leather boots. I carried three pistols, one on each hip and a third in a shoulder holster. For that occasion, I chose to arm myself with only the finest artisan firearms.
Lucas and Ivan followed me into the airlock, along with a large chunk of my crew. The towering combat drone had donned a sleeveless blazer with four arm holes cut into it and Lucas had been fitted with a black baseball hat.
The airlock doors snapped open and we stepped into the entryway. Our docking portal ran parallel with the hull of the station. A long window stretched across the outside wall, providing a clear view of the twisting nebula. The floor and walls were made of grey, grimy metal and the ceiling was illuminated by interlocking glow plates.
I let my crew go ahead first. While they filtered into the station, I stood near the window, gazing at my ship. She was a beautiful vessel. The Iron Maiden had a long oval body with a reinforced ramming head at her bow. To make it clear the ship was no longer in the service of the Olympian Empire I’d had the hull repainted.
The design on the Maiden’s hull was of a cowgirl riding a missile while firing two revolvers. I loved the design. About half the crew agreed with me, the others wanted a dragon eating an asteroid.
“Very original,” said Alyssa, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
I glanced to my left and felt some of the strength in my legs evaporate. The Princess stood beside me, staring out the window. She had done herself up and the results were spectacular. Her piercing gene-altered eyes were ringed with black makeup and she wore blood red lipstick. Alyssa’s hair was tied back and bound by mirrored silver rings.
As for the woman’s attire, it was a sort of informal military dress uniform. Her broad chest was framed with a sleeveless dark blue shirt, that was adorned with gilded ropes and ornate iconography. Her pants were tucked into long black boots and she wore a sword and pistol on her hip.
I’ll admit, as a lifelong patriot, I was not proud of the thoughts I was having about an Olympian at that moment.
“Wow.” I looked the princess up and down. “That sword real?”
Alyssa raised an eyebrow. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I mean, I am your boss and all.”
“Yes, Jack, the sword is real.”
“Did you just call me Jack?”
“The Maiden’s docked,” said Alyssa. “You’re not a Captain here.”
I shrugged. “Fine… You know people don’t really carry swords anymore.”
“Their loss. Sometimes you need to kill someone, but you don’t feel like having your ears ring for two hours.”
“True, but it would be a shame to get a litre of blood on that outfit.”
Alyssa smiled. She opened her mouth to speak, but her attention was pulled away. I followed her gaze out the window. A Dominion Navy Cruiser was floating past the station with its running lights blinking. It was manoeuvring itself to mate with one of the docking bays. The Cruiser’s main engines powered down and point thrusters gently nudged the vessel into port.
“Huh, never seen one of those up close,” said Alyssa.
“It’s probably refueling.” I said. “Come on, we should go join the party.”
“Yeah…” Alyssa kept her eyes on the vessel for a moment. “Let’s go.”
We left the docking portal and crossed another airlock into the station. I’ll admit, after Black Rock, Singini didn’t look like much. It wasn’t a glorious symbol of power designed to satisfy the Emperor’s ego. Singini was just a place for miners and soldiers to recover from work and refuel their ships.
The general style of the station favoured textured metal grating, easily wipeable alloy wall panels and yellowish orange lighting. A message played for everyone who entered Singini, telling them that they were not in a Dominion sanctioned area and that it was considered lawless space. This was normal. Most settlements within the resource sector were considered lawless. That’s not to say there weren’t rules, there are always rules, but they were fewer than in settled space and the punishments for breaking those that did exist would be severe.
I watched the princess out of the corner of my eye as we walked. She didn’t make a show of being uncomfortable, but her hands never left her weapons.
“Have you ever been somewhere like this?” I asked.
“Yeah…” Alyssa trailed off. She made a face like she was reconsidering her answer. “Not for fun.”
“What for then?”
“Infection containment. Had to clear out two levels that had been quarantined due to a brain worm outbreak. Shitty way to spend an afternoon.”
I shivered at that one. Brain worms were a big problem in space. “What stage was the infection? Did the little freaks wriggle out of everyone’s skulls when you split them open?”
The princess sighed. “Nah, we mostly used flamethrowers on the infected. Cooking is the only way to neutralize brain worms.”
Yeah, that was one of those things that are a little hard to respond to. I patted Alyssa on the back. “I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Same.”
We rode an elevator up to the commerce deck. Upon stepping out of the cabin we were greeted by an active brawl. Two greasy mechanics were trying to beat each other to death a few feet from the elevator doors.
Some people would intervene in the fight, but I have a strict non-interference policy when it comes to affairs of the stupid. The princess and I sidestepped the quarreling men and ascended a set of backlit steps to the main chamber.
The commerce level was a cavernous donut shaped corridor running a ring around the core of the station. The walls of the chamber were occupied by rows of shops, bars, and other businesses. Like the rest of the facility, a yellowish glow filled the space and a thick layer of grime collected on the floor plating.
We climbed to the second story of the commerce deck, where we reached our destination, a bar called “The Drunk Astronaut.”
The rest of the crew had already arrived. It was a pretty light atmosphere inside the bar. People were laughing, drinking and stuffing their face with the greatest treasure of all, real food. Singini actually had a hydroponics level and lab grown meat. It was something my crew had been hotly anticipating, seeing as the Iron Maiden’s farming level had been replaced by a second ammunition deck.
But that warm atmosphere became rather frosty the second I entered the room. People shut up mid-sentence and laughter faded into whispers. Tokyo and her brother, Gearbox were glaring at Alyssa from across the bar. The siblings sat together, both visibly disgusted at the sight of the Olympian.
I rolled my eyes and joined a table near the entrance, where Boulder, Ivan, and Adam were sitting. Alyssa left for the bar.
“What’s up boss?” asked Boulder, sipping from a frosted mug.
“This ambient hostility is getting really fucking annoying,” I said. “We’re professional killers and they can’t handle a slightly awkward hire. I’m thinking about revising my hiring practices.”
“Humans are soft and prideful,” said Ivan. The gigantic war drone sat at the end of the table, all four arms crossed over its chest. “Machines can change and adapt, and we never waver in our duty.”
“True, but you can be instantly reprogramed with a manufacturing code,” I said.
Ivan shook the iron block that served as his head. “I can’t.”
“You’re a custom machine. You don’t have a serial number or manufacturer code.”
“Precisely, that is why I am superior,” said Ivan.
As a proud human, I couldn’t let such slander lie. I turned to Ivan and gave him a hard look. “Robots may be more robust in direct combat, but they can’t heal. If I blow out your knee it will stay that way until you find a new one.”
“True, but we have a much higher tolerance for damage.”
Adam cleared his throat. “I don’t know about that. One bullet in your energy core and you spray fire and die.”
“What do you say to that, robot?” asked Boulder.
“If I shoot your kind you spray blood and die. Same difference.”
“But in a war, you can’t replenish your ranks without factories and iron mines,” said Adam. “All we need is two people and a case of beer.”
Ivan shrugged. “And sixteen years before your offspring can shoot a gun without falling over.”
“Hey, I joined the legion at twelve,” I said. “I was kicking alien ass before I finished puberty.”
“That’s not normal, Jack,” said Adam.
“Twelve years is still a long time,” said Ivan. “I was assembled in two months. It could have been hours if my creation was automated. The same day I was constructed I already knew how to fight.”
I was about to reply when a hand fell on my shoulder. Alyssa leaned over me and placed a pitcher of beer on the table. “I got us something.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I was getting thirsty listening to all this hot air.”
“What about?” asked Alyssa.
“Ivan here thinks robots are better than humans in a fight,” said Boulder. “What do you think, Princess?”
Any semblance of warmth evaporated from the Olympian’s eyes as she turned her attention to the war drone. “Is that right?”
“It is,” said Ivan.
Alyssa walked around the table, stopping behind Ivan. She placed her hands on the machine’s shoulders. “Let this be plain as day, iron born, there is no world, no planet, no sector in this universe or the next where a CPU on legs can beat blood and muscle in battle.”
“Typical human, just saying something doesn’t make it true.”
“Doesn’t it?” The princess’ lips curled into a cruel smile. “I think that depends. Can we change physics, break the fundamental laws of reality? No. But there are a great many truths mankind has forced into reality with nothing but sheer will. See, that sense of profound rationality you feel, that is your folly.”
“How do you figure?” asked the machine, its voice unimpressed.
“Because all you consider are probabilities, cost assessment and precedent. You look at the world as an outsider, calculating what you can and cannot achieve. You have no empathy, so you cannot understand the mind of your enemy. Humans, we don’t just understand them, but we can think like them, and use that to our advantage.”
“I think you-”
Alyssa smacked the side of the machine’s head. “Not done. See, the real reason you can’t beat us, the reason nothing can, is because no being in the universe can match our level of pure, selfish malice. We will cast aside all doubt and make the status quo we desire. And we will build it upon a mountain of dead and oceans of blood. To unlatch our grip upon the galaxy you would have to bring about the death of every system, every world, and every single species. Because humans would gladly destroy every treasure in the universe before letting it fall into the hands of your filthy misbegotten kind!”
“What do you say to that, Ivan?” I asked.
Ivan shrugged. “Whatever.”
The princess came around and sat beside me. She had a huge grin on her face. “Victory or death. Fuck robots.”
I patted the Olympian on the back. “I’m starting to like you, Princess.” I poured myself a glass of beer and took a big drink.
“So.” Adam leaned forward and knocked on the table. “Has anyone else noticed the Legionnaires very discretely depositing large metal cylinders everywhere?”
“The ones who are also sealing the exits?” asked Alyssa.
“The very same.”
I glanced in the direction of the bathrooms. There were two legionnaires walking out in full battle armour. They were joking to each other and making finger guns at a number of the bar goers.
“Yeah, they’re about to try and kill us all,” I said.
“How can you tell?” asked Ivan.
“That cadence, the joking, finger guns, my squad would do that before wiping out a colony.”
“Why were you wiping out a colony?” asked Adam.
I shrugged. “It’s called the founder effect. Shitty genes develop in a small settlement and the next thing you know all the kids are born with eyes growing where hair should be.”
“Yeah we did that too,” said Alyssa. “Sometimes the slave population got too high and you had to thin it out a little.”
“Of course, we’re not gonna be getting thinned out,” I said. I chugged my beer and tossed the empty glass across the room. “Is Tokyo still glaring at me?”
“No, her and Gearbox flipped you off and left,” said Boulder.
“Good, I’ll have them get back to the ship.” I flicked on my wrist link and opened a line to Tokyo. Her contact picture popped up, confirming a live connection.
“What do you want, Rob?” asked Tokyo. She sounded drunk.
“Stow the attitude and pop a clear brain pill, then get to the fucking ship and heat up the engine.”
“Why?”
I looked over my shoulder. The Legionnaire’s were in the process of killing the bouncer. “I’m about ninety percent sure we’re about to get caught up in a weapon test.”
“Shit. Alright. I’ll go bring everything online. I’ll recall the crew. Are you staying behind?”
“Yeah, I’m either going to save the day or loot the station, not sure which yet.”
“Good luck with that.”
I killed the call and looked over to Alyssa. “Say, Olympian, you talk a lot of shit.”
The princess nodded. “I do.”
“Real talk, how good are you at killing people?”
“I am fantastic at killing people. No one has ever successfully stopped me from killing them when I wanted them dead.”
“Good.” I pointed to the Legionnaires pulling the bouncer into a back room. “Resolve them. Me and Ivan are gonna go check out those weird cylinders.”
“What about me?” asked Boulder.
“Get back to the ship, pull her out of the docking cradle and tag that cruiser. Adam, make sure he gets there.”
“Yes, sir.” Adam headed out of the bar, followed by my pilot.
I stood and nodded to Alyssa. “Good luck, Princess.”
“Don’t need it.” Alyssa left the table and headed to the back room.
Lucas floated to my side and Ivan drew a sawed-off shotgun from under his coat.
The princess disappeared behind the bar and stepped into the staff only area. While she did her thing, I approached one of the canisters which had been left at the entrance to the bathrooms. It was about a metre tall and a foot wide, with a timed lock on its lid.
I pulled a compact gas mask from my vest and sealed it in place over my mouth and nose. “Alright, Ivan, open it.”
“Immediately.” The Machine used its lower two arms to squeeze the canister until the lid popped off.
Now, I was expected nerve gas, what I wasn’t expecting was a grey, semi-transparent blob the size of a man. But the blob is what I got. This thing undulated out of the cylinder and rolled in my direction. What was really surprising was how fast the thing moved. It abandoned its cage, crossed the floor and started climbing onto my legs in the amount of time it took me to draw my firearm.
That booger creature latched onto my left leg with the might of a bear and the consistency of a trash bag full of rendered animal goo. I saw a beak slide out of a sack under the xenoform’s skin and open to accommodate my shin.
I’ll be honest here, I freaked out. I screamed an unintelligible mishmash of panic words while emptying my pistol into that thing’s wet squishiness. There was so much blood. It sprayed out of the thing as I shot it. That wasn’t cheap target ammo either, they were serrated hollow points. The trauma I unleashed was extreme, but that didn’t stop the alien from biting me.
Its dark jaws locked onto my leg and started closing. That’s when Ivan got involved. He emptied his shotgun into the xenoform while Lucas shrugged off his hat and unleashed the combined wrath of his laser projectors. Blood started boiling out of the living bean bag chair as its skin was charred black.
I felt its jaws loosen as it puked a stream of burning life goo onto my leg. I screamed and Ivan promptly tore the alien off me and ripped it in half. We were all sprayed by its boiling juice as its skin split open like a caterpillar in a wasp’s jaws. Wet guts fell onto the floor, where they steamed and festered like a mid-flu bowel movement.
“Well, fuck.” I stepped away from the steaming pile and wiped the blood off my face. I looked to the other canisters strategically placed around the room, behind the bar, under tables, in the corners covered with cushions.
“Are you sure you want to stay on the station?” asked Ivan.
I nodded. “Oh, fuck yeah. We can’t leave until everyone of these blobs is dead. This isn’t a simple weapon’s test, those soldiers just committed treason. But I’m gonna need backup. Jessica!”
“Yes, sir.” Ivan unbuttoned his coat. The main armour plate on the machine’s chest popped open, revealing a hollow compartment where my rifle was stored, along with five drums of spare ammo.
“I missed you, baby,” I said to my rifle as I pulled her close and racked her charging handle. “First, we deal with the aliens, then we go after that cruiser. I want to have a talk with the Captain.”
“How long did we have on that timer?” asked Lucas.
“Ten minutes,” said Ivan.
“We’d best go get the princess,” I said.
We hurried over to the bar and bounded over it like action heroes. Except for Lucas who could float. I kicked open the back-room door, shouldered Jessica and charged over the threshold. I wasn’t fully prepared for what greeted me.
The storage room we emerged into was in a state of total disrepair. Shelves were toppled, ceiling panels were cracked and there was blood everywhere. More importantly, there was a naked decapitated woman on the ground. A pile of familiar looking clothes sat beside the corpse, also covered in blood.
A Legionnaire in bloody armour stood near the corpse, holding a sword in one hand and a severed head in the other. The head was held by the hair. Black hair.
I felt my lungs empty and my skin turn cold as I pointed my rifle at the Legionnaire. “Princess?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly.
“Hey, boss.” The warrior turned and tossed the head at my feet. It rolled to a stop with its blank face upturned in my direction.
I nearly fell over when I didn’t recognize the face. The relief was all kinds of sweet, until I remembered we were still under attack from aliens.
Alyssa removed her stolen helmet and gave me a quizzical look. “Jack, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just thought that was you for a second.” I pointed to the naked body.
“What?” Alyssa’s face darkened slightly, and her eyebrows shot up like I’d just grabbed her ass. She pointed her sword at the corpse. “Does this round bitch look like me?”
“Um,” I looked to Ivan who just shook his head. “There are aliens on the station.”
The Princess’ eyes narrowed. “This isn’t over.” She replaced her helmet, picked up her weapon belt from the ground and buckled it over her waist. Alyssa stole a rifle from one of the corpses and walked past me into the bar, intentionally bashing my shoulder in passing.
I rolled my eyes and walked back into the bar area. “Look, Princess, we have about eight minutes before this place has more ugly blobs than a teenager’s face.”
Alyssa looked down at the controls on her newfound rifle. “What sort of aliens are we dealing with?”
“Imagine a bean bag chair with a beak and an attitude.”
“Sounds like we need a flame thrower.”
Ivan lifted his left arm and waved, displaying a silver tube protruding from his wrist. “Check.”
“Excellent.” Alyssa looked to me. “What are your orders, Captain?”
“The crew should have returned to the ship by now,” I said. “But we’re not going. In a few minutes this entire station is going to be overrun by xenoforms, and we can’t let that go unpunished. First, we breach the central control cluster and capture the station. Then we vent the atmosphere into space, overload the reactor, and destroy Singini. Finally, we hunt down that Dominion Cruiser and bring it’s Captain to justice.”
Alyssa raised a hand. “So, we’re still going to kill everyone on this station then?”
“We’re past saving this place. Our objective is to make sure those blobs don’t touch down on anything with a permanent atmosphere.”
The Princess sighed. “A lot can change in a few minutes.”
“We’re warriors, Alyssa. The course of our lives hinges on decisions we make with a second of consideration. Now let’s go blow up a space station.”
Diary of a Malcontent 